today, after waking up, i did my typical routine as whatever typical might be for someone partially living/moving out of germany. first, i went to the gym, which unfortunately has taken a back seat to all the roadtrips i've been taking. but in the past few days, i've started going again. my mantra: "it's only 30 minutes. go." it works often!
after going to the gym, i went to my favorite Der Beck which is this chain store bakery that has better pastries and baked goods than any chain store bakery i've seen in my life. click here to see what i'm talking about (then click on the arrows where it says "seite" to turn the page).
i also like it that they have this running high definition video on how they make all their pastries. sometimes i just quietly stare at it for 15 minutes. anyway, i got some coffee and a krapfen (a jelly filled donut) which probably deleted my last three workouts after one bite. i wanted to actually eat it at the store, but i got too excited with my mix of deutsch and hand signals, so they packed it up "mit nehmen" or "to go". despite that confusion, i ate the donut at the store. one would never blog about getting donuts, but when you live in a foreign country, getting ANYTHING is always an adventure.
after that, i headed to the rental car place at the airport. i've been exchanging cars more frequently than normal. a friend told me that it's my way of coping with the breakup and that i can't make a commitment to one car. it's like the process of exchanging it and not getting attached. i thought about it for a while and thought "no" i'm simply trying to take advantage of my current situation, knowing full well that it could end without a moment's notice. but maybe there's some truth in what he said. but that's for another blog.
This MB GLK 280 is now "Mercedes Benz Herbie".
the people at the rental car place have really gotten to know me. i like it too that everytime i walk in, i'm greeted with a warm "hello mr. grio!" and they really do mean it! they even gave me the "secret" email address and phone number that contacts them directly at their desk. and sometimes they call me when a "cool" car comes in to see if i'm interested. but today, it was simply exchanging it for another.
however, as i'm driving to the airport ready to exchange this car, i started to like this car. it seems to fit my current mood. it's sporty, small, and has a personality. i don't know if it was the black balloons or what, but i've started to like this car. i never thought a mercedes benz would do that, but looking at it, the car's kinda cool. like that vw bug herbie cool. i walked up to the rental car counter and i told them that i'd like to keep this car for a few more days. no problem they said. so mercedes benz herbie and i proceed to our next errand.
however, as i'm driving to the airport ready to exchange this car, i started to like this car. it seems to fit my current mood. it's sporty, small, and has a personality. i don't know if it was the black balloons or what, but i've started to like this car. i never thought a mercedes benz would do that, but looking at it, the car's kinda cool. like that vw bug herbie cool. i walked up to the rental car counter and i told them that i'd like to keep this car for a few more days. no problem they said. so mercedes benz herbie and i proceed to our next errand.
so i take the car and drive it back to the apartment. and as i'm driving back, i noticed that the weather was starting to change. the temperature dropped considerably and the wind was really blowing. i looked up and saw the clouds moving faster and faster almost like in a movie. taking some pictures crossed my mind, but i wasn't really into it at the time. so as i park the car in front of my apartment with the wind blowing like crazy, mercedes benz herbie told me to get my camera. really. maybe i'm delusional, but if you look at the grill, it really does look like it talks. ok, i'm delusional.
nonetheless, i ran inside the apartment and grabbed my camera bag, jumped inside mercedes benz herbie and started chasing some clouds. we drove down the street where the cobble stones were and then headed to the park just across the main street. the wind was really picking up and it was getting colder and colder. as the clouds were moving, i started to get panicked because i didn't want to be too far away from the car in case it started to pour.
you see, that's what happens the moment before the rain starts to fall. there's a sense of urgency and uncertainty, yet at the same time, peppered with excitement. the moment before the rain starts to fall is an incredibly profound moment.
it's like the moment before a smile turns into laughter or the moment before the laughter turns into tears. it's the moment before you break up or the moment before the first kiss. it's the moment before you say goodbye to someone at the airport or the moment before you say hello. it's the moment before you look at your child for the first time or the moment before you find out someone is dying. you add up all those moments and that's what life is all about.
it's like the moment before a smile turns into laughter or the moment before the laughter turns into tears. it's the moment before you break up or the moment before the first kiss. it's the moment before you say goodbye to someone at the airport or the moment before you say hello. it's the moment before you look at your child for the first time or the moment before you find out someone is dying. you add up all those moments and that's what life is all about.
for me, this week is encapsulated in many of those moments. in a few days, my time in germany could be over. instead of driving down the autobahn, i might be trading in mercedes benz herbie for a chevy malibu and driving to paris, texas instead of paris, france. it's not in my control and it's at this point that i can only raise my hands in the air and say, it's all yours, lord. and whether or not you believe in god, something out of your control will happen. as for me, i do believe in god and i've always believed that it's in surrender that one can find peace.
and i can pray to stay here and to keep my job here and to keep driving around europe until there are no more new roads to drive on. whether or not god answers that prayer is up to him. because as much as i'd like for him to answer my prayers, sometimes it's the "unanswered" ones that is what's best for you. you just never know how he'll answer. it's like the moment before the rain starts to fall.
and i can pray to stay here and to keep my job here and to keep driving around europe until there are no more new roads to drive on. whether or not god answers that prayer is up to him. because as much as i'd like for him to answer my prayers, sometimes it's the "unanswered" ones that is what's best for you. you just never know how he'll answer. it's like the moment before the rain starts to fall.
